Pretty sure that’s not what they mean when they say Free Weights

For the last two weeks, I’ve been unintentionally scamming the LA Fitness down the street from me. I keep trying to give them my money, and they keep refusing to take it.

As as example: today marked the sixth occasion on which I’ve been a visitor. So like a good honest citizen, I strolled in this morning with my credit card in hand, ready to settle up.

“I’ve been coming here on a visitor’s pass and I’d like to go ahead and join,” I said, tapping the card on the Lysol-scented counter. This wasn’t the first time I’d tried to get my application processed. Let’s keep this simple, I thought.

“Okay, what’s your membership number?” said the girl behind the counter.


“I don’t have one yet. I’m hoping you can give me one,” I smiled hopefully.

At which point the attendant began to tap extensively on her computer’s keyboard and frown at its screen, as if she were trying to rebook my missed connection to Timbuktu, or perhaps transcribe the IRS code in to Russian.

After several minutes of this, she stopped abruptly and informed me that her computer wasn’t working, and that I could go ahead and work out and we’d deal with it next time I came in.

Okaaaaaay. I tucked my method of payment back into my purse and proceeded toward the locker room. Is it just me, or have I entered some sort of bizarro LA Fitness Super Opposite Backwards World? Aren’t they supposed to be the ones harassing me about membership?


I had a good workout this morning, and maximized the value of the time I hadn’t paid for by spending a whole 75 minutes at the gym, with most of it in the weight room.

All of this strength training is sure paying off…

Gah. But I know. These things don’t happen overnight.

Here’s what last week’s workouts looked like:

Around 20 miles of running (some of it pretty slow, because I’m kinda sore from all of this other crap), two lifting sessions, and two yoga classes.

And one good beer:

Okay, I had more than one of these. Probably why that scale isn’t moving.

This beer was a worthy expenditure of junk calories, though! Sweetwater’s spring seasonal, the Road Trip Pilsner, runs right over (ha) the notion that the Pils is a boring style of beer. A nice bready backbone leads the way, then turns it over to more nuanced flavors (a touch of bitter lime? fresh cut grass?) before giving you a nicely carbonated finish. An excellent example of a quenching, warm-weather beer that isn’t totally watered down or wheated out. 5.2% ABV.

Bottom line: I’ll definitely be stocking this as long as it’s around! (Purchased at Target, $10/6)

Time to go make a healthy dinner (boring) and drink water (double boring).

10 responses to “Pretty sure that’s not what they mean when they say Free Weights

  1. I am hooked on Sweetwater lately, too! Both the Road Trip Pils and the 420 EPA have been making me happy in mouth.

  2. Your posts make me laugh every time- live up your free gym membership.. because once it’s gone, it’s GONE

  3. Keep going for free. The system normally cheats us, now it’s your turn to cheat it!

  4. The thought of being able to buy booze at Target actually blows my mind. I meant, I would really never need to go anywhere else… ever.

  5. I’m not opposed to a good Pilsner- I’d take it over a super wheaty beer in the summer. I wonder if I can find that one in Chicago?

  6. What is with all the typing? Seriously — gyms are second only to airline check-in clerks with the excessive keyboarding. Is there a monster in your keyboard that you’re trying to exorcise with all that banging around?

  7. Hilarious. :-) If anyone from LA Fitness corporate is reading this I’ll bet they are dying. I need to get myself a “free weights” gym! I’d say you’re doing great on your workouts and taking full advantage of your guest membership.

  8. Love this! The image of you just standing there waiting as she focused so hard and tapped and tapped on the keyboard + her stopping abruptly has me laughing out loud!