Viral karma

Last Monday, my husband came home sick from work. I suppressed my look of shock as he shuffled through the front door, ghostly and disheveled, his office trash can dangling from his fingertips.

He’s not a person who stays home sick often (um…ever?), so I knew this must be pretty bad.

For the next few days, I dutifully played nurse, fetching glasses of juice and bowls of soup and pressing the back of my hand to his forehead and assuring him that according to my super-scientific measurement method,  his fever was definitely on the wane.

I felt horrible for him. Being sick sucks.

But deep down, I was also so glad it wasn’t me.

I know that’s probably a horrible thing to think, but I thought it. And…I guess I sort of congratulated myself. This sickness must have considered me and taken a pass, intimated by my sturdy genetics and healthful lifestyle.

From there, it’s a hop, skip and a jump to full-on Darwinian smugness.

As the week wore on, I continued to marvel at my body’s apparent ability to resist this bug/virus thing. I became cockier and bolder: a swig from his Gatorade bottle here, a risky kiss on the lips there. Obviously, I was equipped with some sort of invisible super-shield. I began to imagine the bug/virus thingies falling haplessly to the ground, stunned by the power of my impenetrable immune system, as my shield and I cut through them unscathed.

I am sure you have probably guessed where this is going.

To my credit, my timing was good. Just as I went down, my husband started feeling a little better; well enough to fetch me glasses of juice and bowls of soup, anyway. And happily, our kitchen was already well stocked with both.

The flu came and went. By the weekend, we were both back to normal. Minus one imaginary immuno-super-shield.

I think in the future, I’ll leave the inflated sense of evolutionary value to those members of the household for whom it’s better suited.

14 responses to “Viral karma

  1. Sorry you’ve both been so sick! But… this is great blog material. I can’t help but laugh at that last drawing. :-)

  2. Cats are awesome. Glad you feel better!

  3. Glad you’re feeling better! Love the pictures :)

  4. Ha ha… I kind of have the same illusions of immunity when someone around me is sick, and I almost always pay for it! Feel better!

  5. What really gets me when my husband gets sick is how much of a complete wuss he is. It is never so clear to me why women are the one’s who birth children as when my husband has the flu. Glad you’re feeling better!

  6. That’s what you get for playing with fire… Seriously, now drink some wine to cure it :)

  7. Haha I love that photo of the cat at the end. Classic!! Glad you are feeling better!

  8. I haven’t had the flu or anything major for about 4 years now (unless, of course, you ask my boss… shhhh). I’m pretty smug about it, but I know if I cross a line with the bragging, I’ll probably be bringing back the swine flu on my birthday or something of equal horribleness.

  9. Bahahaha. I relate so hard to this right now. My coworkers were all sick three weeks ago and I was prancing around illness-free, secretly believing my snotless nostrils, clear eustachian tubes, and pain-free throat were marks of a stout and superior immune system.

    Two weeks later and now I’ve had whatever they had for longer than anybody else in the office. D’oh.

  10. Glad you’re feeling better. I know being sick sucks but it was worth it if it inspired you come up with that particularly awesome set of Paint illustrations.

  11. Yeah, illustrations are back !

  12. Stomach bugs are the worst! That happened to me once, too, with some kids that I was babysitting. Kids are so gross.

  13. Oh man, some virus hit me badly this weekend too. It was miserable, and I thought I had the flu for a couple days. Glad you are on the mend!

  14. By far your best post. This is stellar art!

    Hope you feel better soon! I’ve been traveling for the last week and obsessively taking Emergen-C and Airborne to prevent the “I flew in a plane” sickness.