Yeah, I know. It’s been a while.
Here are some of the things I wish I could say I’ve been doing for the last month:
Gallivanting around a foreign country, eating and drinking fabulous local things and speaking the language flawlessly because a month is totally enough time to learn to do that!
Unfortunately not. Except for a two-day trip to DC earlier this month, I’ve stayed firmly planted here in Atlanta. (Which actually isn’t a horrible thing, because weather-wise, October is clearly the best month of the year here.)
…bravely battling an invasion of zombies, and singlehandedly saving humanity from an all-out Zombie War. You’re welcome!
Can’t say this has happened yet…but considering that I am convinced there are bodies buried in my backyard and Halloween is rapidly approaching, it’s a real possibility.
And I wasn’t, like, serving my community either. Although I probably should have been. Certainly I could have been:
Helping people and shit.
Putting on to-do list: find volunteer opportunities.
Anyway, what have I been doing? Mostly, something that looks like this:
…or if you want the whole picture…
Wallowing, moping, being a piece of crap. I don’t know what’s been with me lately but I’ve just been…I don’t even know. But one day I woke up and the very idea of the internet just seemed horrible.
Emails. OMG LEAVE ME ALONE.
Facebook. WHY IS EVERYONE POLLUTING THE WEB WITH THIS CRAP. MY NEWS FEED IS A BANAL STEW.
Blog. OH GOD I CAN’T EVEN.
So I didn’t. And I did some other stuff instead. I finished building this shelving unit that had been sitting, in the form of a pile of pine boards, in the garage for weeks. I read some books. I cooked. I ran a little, and lifted a little, and thought about how nice it was to do those things privately, without putting pressure on myself to share them with all of the internets.
It’s been three years since I started this blog. At that time, I’d just moved to New York City with my husband so that he could pursue a postgraduate fellowship there. I’d quit my consulting job; it was a job that I liked, but required a ton of travel and I wanted to actually experience NYC while we were there. I freelanced a little; I worked part-time for a start-up; I worked at a running store; I joined a competitive running club and ran hard for the first time in a few years. After a too-short twelve months, my husband’s fellowship ended and we moved on, to North Carolina. And then, a year later, Georgia.
In Georgia, we bought a house. The house had been vacant for a year, was littered with shoddy upgrades by the previous owner, and was generally kind of a shit-show. I spent the summer playing general contractor and interior decorator, which kept me surprisingly busy and was actually pretty fun.
But most of the house work is done now. (Well…we hope.)
I am officially bored. And I think that’s why I’ve been in such a funk lately.
Well, get a damn job already, I tell myself. Get on that whole grad school thing, I scold. Just do…something.
It’s a conversation I have with myself every day. And sometimes I get motivated. But then, inevitably, I get, like…stuck. And I make no progress.
So, I need to work on that.
I hope you all can hold me accountable?
Because I also need to work on this tendency of mine to just avoid. And a prime example of that is my avoiding all of you when I started feeling all shitty.
TL;DR: I didn’t stop posting because I was doing something exotic, heroic, or humanitarian. I just felt like crap and said FUCK THE INTERNETS for a while. Which is fine, but let’s be honest: by and large, my friends live in my computer. This is a place I need and want to be. So I’m back.